You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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