wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
