i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize