Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
