i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
