sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize