are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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