This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
