She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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