i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
organizing the empties. That sober.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
