i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
