Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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