Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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