At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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