I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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