No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
