you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize