1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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