I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize