I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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