she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
