a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Shame is for Republicans.
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