I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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