Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
