I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Randomize
