Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
