We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
