My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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