They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
