so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When are your genitals available?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize