yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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