just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
wow bdsm is so cute
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
