eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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