They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
