you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
