I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
