I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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