she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
