you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
