Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
