Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize