I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
