no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
