I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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