what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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