How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize