pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
