yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
