a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
