Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
