Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
