so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
