we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
