I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
