Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I think i got beer on your cat.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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