I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i dont even know how to be here
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
