Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
