So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
