dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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