I wish my penis had an off switch
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
