Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
