i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
