A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
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