i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
