Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
