Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
