you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
