I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
honey bunches of taint.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
